dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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