Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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