your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
