Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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