It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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