Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
