I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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