What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
