you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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