take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
this is an emotional support booty call
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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