life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize