I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
