it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
