new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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