i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
