mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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