i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
