The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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