Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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