they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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