I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
