bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize