The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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