I want to have your abortion
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
