So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
