That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize