Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
