Midget sex pt 2 tonight
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
