I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
