I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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