Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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