How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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