Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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