just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize