I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
