? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
