i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
