Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
