you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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