Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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