Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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