i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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