Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
