So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
