ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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