So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
