I am puke
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
