Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
