I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
