I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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