whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize