I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize