All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize