Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
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Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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