i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize