i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize