Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
